need another drink. this is the easiest way
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize