this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
