I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
