Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
