It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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