Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
