This is not my ceiling
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
