Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
