I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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