in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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