And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
