is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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