i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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