i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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