batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
