Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He passed out mid-signature
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
