addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
