they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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