In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
