i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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