I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
