I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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