It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
