I heard we made out
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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