? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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