She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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