Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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