the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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