Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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