Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Im part way to drunk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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