Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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