Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
one might say we're banned from that church
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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