he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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