I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
