she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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