he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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