Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
