oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
