If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
