Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize