I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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