So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
