what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's never too late to be topless.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
