Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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