Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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