u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
