If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
