Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
