i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
