I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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