so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
