This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
