YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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