I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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