you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
