But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
