I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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