guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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