are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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