If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice