I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
well you can't waste a boner
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter