Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.