Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
