No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is my gift to your gina
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
